Patterns for Writers: Thesis Statements

Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Hemingway’s stories helped create a new prose style by employing extensive dialogue, shorter sentences, and strong Anglo-Saxon words.
Good: Specific topic and point. Even if he IS boring.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Gerbils are 72% cuter than hamsters.
Poor: Unquantifiable.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? I want to share some thoughts with you about our space program.
Poor: It’s an announcement. Plus, you don’t need “I think” or “I want to share” in an essay — of COURSE it’s what YOU think.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Cell phones are becoming increasingly popular and are in use almost anywhere one goes.
Poor: No point of persuasion.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? The capital of Illinois is currently Springfield; at one time, it was Vandalia.
Poor: Fact. No point of persuasion.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Conflict resolution should be taught to help prevent violence in America’s schools.
Good: Specific topic and comment.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Of the songs played on station WXQP, all too many depict sex, crudely sanction the beating or rape of women, or foster gang violence.
Good: Specific topic and comment.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? A seventeen inch computer monitor is easier to read than a fifteen inch monitor.
Poor: No persuasive argument.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? The thesis of this paper is the difficulty of solving our environmental problems.
Poor: Just an announcement. Plus, you never want to have to spell out what your thesis is. If the reader can’t tell, it’s a poor thesis.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Although sawmills certainly dominated the countryside, the early American landscape was changed primarily by the introduction of the railroad.
Good: Specific topic and comment.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? College students should be more careful of what material they put on their Facebook pages because prospective employers routinely check them.
Good: Specific topic and comment. And… duh.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Social Security and Old Age.
Poor: Not a sentence; there is no verb.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? The individual’s role in democracy is very important.
Poor: It’s too general. HOWEVER, you might get a pass using this type of thesis sentence IF your points are very strong. — but an individual in a democracy is one vote. An individual in a Republic has the power of law behind him. Democracy = lynch mob. The minority has no power.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? The most important thing any maternal or paternal figure can do for human offspring is assist them in articulating the language messages that they are likely to encounter in published works of literature; this is particularly important in the foundational years of existence before the offspring enters a formal educational environmental.
Questionable — When I took my exam, I marked this as Poor because it was too convoluted and lacked focus. It was marked wrong — as if it was a good sentence. I checked some of the other universities that had the same question on their study sheets, and they all marked it Poor. It’s not a good sentence.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? The primary problem in the American steel industry is the lack of funds to renovate oudated plants and equipment.
Good: Specific topic and comment.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? The American steel industry has many problems.
Poor: Too general.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? For many people, a community college makes more sense than a four year university.
Good: Specific topic and comment.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote “Self-Reliance.”
Poor: Fact. Nothing to argue or persuade.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? After a careful examination of the rhythm of Robert Frost’s poem “Mending Wall,” we can see how the meter of each line contributes to the overall meaning of the poem.
Good: Specific topic and comment.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Stephen Hawking’s physical disability has not prevented him from becoming a world renowned physicist.
Good: Specific topic and comment
(Watch your spelling of renowned. The test has it ‘reknowned’, which is incorrect.)
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Many people were saddened by the space shuttle Columbia tragedy in February.
Poor: It’s just a statement of fact. A thesis needs something which can be argued.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? Facebook attracts many college students.
Poor: Fact. No point of persuasion. Plus, it’s incorrect. No one under 30 uses Facebook any more 😉 Tumblr for the win.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? In today’s society, child abuse is an awful thing.
Poor: Fact. No point of persuasion. No one is going to argue that child abuse is ever a good thing.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? People use lawn chemicals.
Poor: Fact. No point of persuasion.
Good or Poor Thesis Statement? When I first got married, I used to cook three or four nights a week, but in more recent years my wife has ended up cooking dinner most nights.
Poor: Statement of fact. No argument.

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