Ch. 12 – Power and Violence

In almost all relationships, the partners _____ have power
both. thus, one partner’s ability to influence the other is often matched by considerable counterpower of the other partner over the first
This type of power involves getting someone to do what you want them to do because you can give them something they like or take away something they don’t like (the resource is rewards)
reward power
This type of power involves getting someone to do what you want them to do because you can do something to them they don’t like, or take way something they like (The resource is rewards)
coercive power
This type of power involves getting someone to do what you want them to do because they recognize your authority to tell them what to do (the resource is authority or norms of equity, reciprocity, or social responsibility)
legitimate power
This type of power involves getting someone to do what you want them to do because they identify with you, feeling attracted and wanting to remain close (the resource is respect or love)
referent power
This type of power involves getting someone to do what you want them to do because you have the broad understanding they desire (the resource is expertise)
expert power
This type of power involves getting someone to do what you want them to do because you possess some specific knowledge they desire (the resource is information)
informational power
Social norms that affect who has power
norm of reciprocity
norm of equity
norm of social responsiblity

pg. 366

3 reasons it is hard to have equal power in a relationship:
1. Relative resources: men and women face a disparity. Men are paid more, and money is universalistic (can be exchanged with almost anyone in a wide variety of situations
2. Social norms: support and maintain male dominance (americans think women are more honest, intelligent, compassionate and creative, which makes them good leaders, but cultural norms still keep women “in place”)
3. We don’t know what equality looks like
Some resources that provide people power can be used more flexibly than others can.

________ resources can be exchanged with almost anyone

_______ resources are valuable in some situations and not in others



particularistic (they confer power to their owner only with particular partners)

Love is a __________ resource.
particularistic: we have referent power over one who loves us, but that power is limited to that lover and no one else
If men control more____________ resources that are widely influential in social life, and women control more____________ resources, it should surprise us to find men being more influential than women in many relationships
men: universalistic

women: particularistic

The process of power refers to the manner in which power is expressed:
1. conversation
2. nonverbal behaviour
In most heterosexual relationships, the dominant partner is the:

i no known societies do women dominate men

How is the division of labor between men and women at home different?
typically, woman’s duties are constant and the husbands are intermittent
Studies showing different perception of powerful people
– eat last cookie
– more likely to draw an E on forehead as if they were reading it
– increases their mate value: when people feel powerful they prefer partners who are more attractive
– more flirtatious with subordinates
– compared to mid-level managers, more powerful professionals are 25% more likely to cheat on their current partners (while being more strict in condemning others’ cheating)
4 dimensions with which to judge how close you’re coming to true equality in your relationships
1. relative status
2. attention to the other
3. patterns of accommodation
4. well-being
characteristics of being in low power
– suffer more depression, behave more cautiously, and timidly fear more punishment than powerful people do
How conversation is affected by power
– women allow themselves to be interrupted more by men than they interrupt in return
– in one study, women and men behave similarly when they talk to others of the same sex, but when opposite sex men talked more and interrupted more
Nonverbal descriptions of power
Powerful people: larger interpersonal distances, more intense facial expressions, assume less symmetrical postures and take up more space, and just assuming these positions can make one feel more powerful (with testosterone rising and taking more risks gambling, whether M or F)
– often these positions are more masculine
– women use less assertive eye contact, body movement, and touch with men than with other women (this is sensible: women tend to get their way when they use authoritative behaviour with other women, but they make poorer impressions with such behaviour towards men)
Nonverbal sensitivity and power
Because it is typically the job of the subordinate to keep track of what the boss is feeling, they are higher in nonverbal sensitivity (which is typical of women)

powerful people tend to be relatively insensitive to others’ feelings

2 Themes in Styles of Power/How people get their partners to do what they want
Theme 1: Direct vs. Indirect
1. Direct (explicitly asking for what they want)
2. Indirect (hinted at what they wanted and pouted when their wishes were unfulfilled, but never came outright and said what they wanted)

Theme 2: Seeking goals through interaction or alone
1. Bilateral: action involving both members (negotiation and bargaining)
2. Unilateral: doing what they want without involving their partners

The more satisfied people are with a relationship, the more likely they are to use:
1. direct strategies of power (asking explicitly)
2. bilateral strategies
How are styles of power used in heterosexual relationships different from those used in homosexual relationships?
Homosexual: they use similar styles of power

Heterosexual: men using direct and bilateral. women use indirect and unilateral ( therefore, when dealing with romantic partners, men use strategies that are characteristic of people who are satisfied and powerful, whereas women use styles that are typical of those who are powerless and discontent)

Therefore, _____ more often come right out and ask for what they want. By comparison, ______ hint about it but do not directly announce their preferences


Is the difference is styles of power a sex difference?
No! It is a gender difference that’s wrapped up with the sexes relative resources. People who are high in instrumentality use direct bilateral strategies (and people who are low in instrumentality, which tends to be women, use indirect unilateral strategies)
– the different styles of influence exhibited by heterosexual men and women in their romantic relationships are products of the routine differences in relative resources in those partnerships.
Are styles of power influenced more by gender or his or her status in a particular interaction?
status in a particular interaction

in an experimental setting, both men and women will use direct strategies when they are experts, and indirect strategies when they are novices *sexes did not differ
*in addition, there are no differences between the sexes in the ways that gays and lesbians try to influence each other

Disparities in power are linked to ____________ in close relationships
When men relinquish some of their power, who benefits more?
Women: enjoy larger increases in happiness and more sizable declines in conflict, marital problems, and divorce proneness
however, the changes are in the SAME direction for men (men are a little happier and somewhat less prone to divorce in equal partnerships)
*everybody wins when power is shared
Is power always abused?
No. When people adopt communal orientations, and interdependent self-construals in committed romantic relationships, they typically use power for the benefit of their partner and their relationship.

committed, happy lovers often use their influence to benefit their partners and to enhance, rather than undermine, their mutual contentment

We use violence when we behave in a manner intended to do physical harm to others, and the ________________ measures how minor or severe it is
Conflict Tactics Scale
– people judge their use of psychological or physical aggression against their romantic partners
The more ______ there are in a couple, the greater the likelihood of violence:

lesbian women encountered only about hald as much violence as heterosexual women did, but gay men experienced twice as much violence as heterosexual men (heterosexual relationships, about 1/4)

Most common types of violence in intimate relationships:
slapping or hitting
3 major distinct types of violence in romantic relationships
1. situational couple violence
2. intimate terrorism (there is also mutual violent control, when both partners engage in IT)
3. violent resistance
Situational couple violence (SCV)
usually erupts from heated conflicts that get out of hand. It occurs when both partners are angry and is tied to specific arguments so it is only occasional and usually mild, being unlikely to escalate into serious life-threatening forms of aggression (it is also often mutual)

– men and women equally likely

Intimate terrorism (IT)
one partner uses violence as a tool to control and oppress the other. Physical coercion often occurs with other threats, isolation, and economic subordination. Occurs more often than SCV. More likely to be one-sided, to escalate over time, and to involve serious injury to it’s target.

– disproportionately men

This form of Interpersonal Violence (IPV) is most likely to get a battered spouse to seek shelter elsewhere
intimate terrorism (IT)
Mutual violent control
uncommon, when both partners engage in IT
Violent resistance
where a partner forcibly fights back against intimate terrorism. occurs in some, but not all cases of IT (so, it is the least common of the 3)
– because IT is much more often men, VR is more often women
When IPV occurs, it is usually _____________, occasionally ____________ and only sometimes ________.
violent resistance
Define mate-guarding.
we work to regulate and control our partners’ access to potential rivals, and vice versa

violence is sometimes used as a form of mate-guarding
*if a partner’s possessiveness turns surly, violence may not be far behind

This gender is more likely to engage in physical violence against their partners…

problems with this research…

women! only slightly. lecture slides: women act violently towards their husbands just as often as men act violently toward their wives, however, men are more likely to cause injuries and to use violence as a tool in an ongoing pattern of domination and force)

these findings are controversial though because
– studies don’t determine if actions were offensive or defensive
– men and women exhibit violent behaviour of different severity (men are more likely to do damage including injuries, rape and murder)
– sampling – surveys of young adults are more likely to detect violence from women, but studies focusing on distressed marriages don’t match these findings)

Likely conclusion of difference in conflicting violence between men and women
women can be just as violent as men but they are less likely to cause injuries and less likely to use violence as a tool in an ongoing pattern of domination and influence
– the sexes behave similarly in SCV, but intimate terrorists are mainly men
A model of situational couple violence (SCV) is called the ______ and organizes 3 influences on SCV:
I-cubed model

1. instigating triggers: causes one or both partners to be on edge
2. impelling influences: that make it more likely the partners will experience violent impulses
3. inhibiting influences: encourage the partners to refrain from acting on those influences

Finkel and Eckhardt’s I-cubed model suggests that we refrain from acting on our violent impulses either because…
impelling influences stimulating us to lash out were too weak
inhibiting influences dissuading us were too strong
In Finkel and Eckhardt’s I-cubed model, they suggested that both impelling and inhibitory in SCV influences could be these types:
Distal: cultural norms, economic conditions, family experiences
Dispositional: personality traits and beliefs
Relational: current state of relationship
Situational: immediate circumstances
Examples of instigating triggers on SCV:
– jealousy-evoking events, remembered or discovered betrayals, real or imagined rejection, verbal or physical abuse
Examples of impelling influences on SCV:
– Distal: events from much earlier in life (e.g. witnessed violence from parents, or consumed a lot of aggressive media)
– dispositional influences: sour, prone to anger, high in neuroticism,
– Distal: men with traditional sex-typed gender roles
– Relational: poor communication style within couples or mismatched attachment styles
– Situational: heat and noise, recent stress at work
Examples of inhibiting influences on SCV:
Distal: egalitarian cultural norms, cultures promoting gender equality

Dispositional: conscientiousness, self-control (high self-control, MUCH less likely to commit violence)

Relational: Satisfaction and commitment, good problem-solving skills

Situational: sobriety

in spouses compared to cohabiting, and in cohabiting than in dating

levels of violence decrease with age and duration of relationships

*if inhibiting influences are very weak, relatively small provocations may be enough to elicit intimate violence

Although only 30% of those who had SCV in one romantic relationship had it in a second different relationship, when SCV starts in a particular relationship…
it tends to recur
How are the influences on Intimate Terrorism (IT) using the I-cubed model different?
influences that are more enduring than those that may trigger SCV
2 types of people who commit IT:
1. clumsy and pathetic people and threats and harm are their attempts at keeping their partners

2. more malevolent people who are antisocial and narcissistic, and violence is just another tool with which to get what they want

Typical background and characteristics of men who are intimate terrorists
– have often witnessed violent conflict between parents and been sexually abused themselves
– often grew up in homes that taught them traditional gender roles and rather hostile, misogynistic attitudes, thinking women are used for men’s pleasure
– often generally aggressive, abusing partners and pets
– feelings of inadequacy that make violence a source of power (often feel intellectually inferior to their partners and have low self-esteem)
– from homes of poverty
Conclusion of why men engage in IT:
men who subscribe to masculine codes that promote a man’s authority over women, but many of them feel inadequate to the task. they often feel or fear that they don’t measure up to those codes. attempting to shore up to their masculine self-concept they may try to control others.
Thoughts of 22 incarcerated men who abused their female partners:
– they all felt their behaviour had been a legitimate response to the disrespect they faced from their partners, and all mentioned their partners provocation as the genesis of their abuse
– also felt men were supposed to be dominant and superior over women
– they also believed they were not “real” wife abusers because they did not enjoy hurting women and they limited their abuse (doing less than they could have)… because of these rationalizations only about half expressed regret
women’s response to IT
– surprise, struggle to make sense of it
– influenced by romantic norms that encourage them to “forgive and forget”
– often blame themselves for their partner’s aggression
– lowered self-esteem, mistrust of men, depression, PTSD
– work absences, become homeless
Several reasons behind stalking:
stalkers may be: mad, bad or sad
How many women leave an abusive relationship:
about 43%
33% remain in it
23% remain it is but end the violence
Why doesn’t everyone leave an abusive relationship?
Despite the abuse, they don’t think that they’ll be better off if they go
(high investments, low CLalt)
more abuse if they try to leave
women with high anxiety attachment style are drawn to possessive controlling men.(it reassures this partner that he cares)
– self blame
– fear of reprisal
– they still love their partner
– hope
-economic dependency

– beliefs that partner is all-powerful and nothing can precent more violence produces LEARNED HELPLESSNESS – the perception that negative things happening to oneself are arising through no fault of our own, so we become resigned to give up trying to change the situations

Lenore Walker’s Model: The “cycle of violence”
tension building leads to explosion (battering incident) which leads to loving and contrite and then to more tension building, another explosion, more loving and contrite and so forth
Rusbult’s Investment Model
Satisfaction, Alternatives, Investments

(high investments, low CLalts, lead them to believe they will be less satisfied elsewhere/leaving), which makes them more committed and less willing to leave

add the for your consideration on page. 389
Abuse lecture slides…
Justice Canada Identifies 4 forms of child abuse
Physical Abuse (kicking, biting, shaking, bruises, broken bones, pain)

Sexual Abuse (sexual comments, intercourse)

Physical Neglect: inadequate food, blothing, medical care, supervision

Psychological Abuse: emotional neglect, ridicule, humiliation, terrorizing

Abuse specific to elders
1. Drug abuse: keeping the elderly “doped up”

2. Material abuse: theft or misuse of money

3. Deprivation of rights: limiting their autonomy

Is women’s violence defensive?
No, only a minority of women’s violence is self-defensive

in about 25% of relationships with violence, only the female partner is violent

in relationships with bi-directional violence, the female partner initiates violence at least half the time

The widespread feminist perspective is that _______ causes partner violence
Patriarchy: a social organization involving the systematic subordination and control of women by men

Men internalize patriarchal norms

Violence is about the systematic control and domination of women by men

(they think psychological explanations are inappropriate)

A historical piece of evidence for the feminist perspective that patriarchy is the cause of partner violence
The “rule of thumb”: 1782 legal decision that a man had the right to beat his wife as long as the stick he used was no bigger than his thumb

(at the time, husbands were legally responsible for the actions of their wives and allowed to punish them)

Problems with the Patriarchy explanation of violence against women (that it is a societal norm)
– the vast majority of men find violence against women unacceptable
– only a minority of men are violent
– cannot account for women’s violence
– cannot account for violence in same-sex relationships (gay men have more violence in relationships than opposite sex relationships)
– there are still high rates of violence where imbalance in decision making favours the female
Psychological predictors of violence:
– violence in family of origin
– substance abuse
– dependency, low self-esteem, personality disorders (BPO)
– attachment anxiety
– poor communication skills
– poor impulse control
– dysfunctional relationship dynamics
Donald Dutton found that people with ________ are more likely to be abusive
Borderline Personality Organization (BPO)
Johnson proposed a solution to deal with the fact that Patriarchy does indeed have an effect on couple violence (but can’t account for everything)
2 types that stem from 2 sources

1. Common Couple Violence:
The source: frustration and conflict that gets out of hand
The issue: specific arguments
Mutual M/F violence
Doesn’t necessarily escalate
3-12% in the last year
– researched by family violence researchers and general samples

2. Patriarchal Terrorism:
The Source: a male-dominated social structure (patriarchy)
The issue: Male control
Uni-directional: M to F
Escalates over time
– less than 1% in the last year, consistent with feminist researchers, shelter samples

patriarchy is not a sufficient explanation. Psychological factors matter.

Contributions of Johnson’s CCV vs. PT Model
– highlights that clinical and survey studies present different portraits – ASK CHANDLER
– attempt to integrate and reconcile inconsistent evidence
– suggests that the nature and antecedents of relational violence differs in these traditions
– finds the patriarchal model may be one form of violence
Define social power
the ability to influence the behaviour of others and to resist their influence on us
This theory is the most widely adopted to use when analyzing social power
interdependency theory
From an interdependency perspective, power is based on the:
control of valuable resources

– the person who has power doesn’t have to possess the resources, just has to control access to them.
– the greater the need/desire from the other partner, the greater the one partner’s power
– exchange of resources can occur (e.g. women’s sex for men money)
– the availability of alternatives decreases dependency (low CLalt increases dependency)

This is an example of how one person’s desire can fuel another person’s power
The principle of lesser interest

in any partnership the person who has less interest in continuing the relationship has more power

– this also explains why men’s greater interest in sex gives women power

How can higher CLalt explain the higher power men usually experience in relationships?
when men work outside the home, they have higher CLalt’s for these two reasons:

1. encountering larger numbers of alternatives
2. have money to pursue them if they wish

thus, the balance of power in a relationship can change if the woman works too

2 broad types of power:

1. where one controls a partner’s outcomes no matter what the partner does

2. by changing one’s behaviour, one encourages their partner to alter their actions in a desirable direction as well

1. fate control

2. behaviour control (allows one to encourage, but not compel, desired behaviour from a partner)

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